Saturday, 12 April 2014

Relentless Life....



He walked aimlessly on the streets unaware of his destination 
With a bottle in his hands he tried to quench his relentless thirst that disagreed to replete 

His jubilant life had been snatched away in a moment of unpreparedness , throwing him out of the car but engulfing his family within
Tears of anguish marked it’s presence on his plump face 


People were busy in some kind of festivity nearby
Dancing to tunes of the orchestra , a jovial old man pulled him in

“ Life is a big celebration Son , let go what you can’t change and live it up without regrets “

                                   

Word Count : 101 Words 

Linking up this post with Friday Fictioneers with the above photo prompt .


30 comments:

  1. Life is a celebration ... enjoy it :-D

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  2. I am not sure whether it is an occasion for celebration

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  3. May be I should have mentioned about the occasion ....ok GP....will try to be more clear next time :)

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  4. Live it up sounds more like him coming out of failure....nevertheless a great post!

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  5. I kind of echo KP. I was a little confused on the occasion and the fact that he is 'celebrating' after his 'life is snatched away'?

    ~Shailaja's latest A~Z post

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    1. He isn't celebrating ...rather the celebration going on round the corner almost pulled the remorse man in..... asking him to move on with life....as what happened was not in his hands ....that's what I wanted to express .

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  6. Sounds about right. I can almost see American author Ernest Hemingway there.

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    1. I don't have any words to reply to your comment .... Awe struck ....

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  7. Very sensible advice!!
    Hope you are having a great time reading, writing and connecting with fellow A to Zers, Sushree :)
    Shilpa Garg
    Co-Host AJ's wHooligan for the A to Z Challenge 2014

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    1. Thank you and ya A-Z Challenge is turning out to be an amazing experience :) Feeling great to be a participant :)

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  8. Have to admit to being a bit confused as well.

    janet

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    1. May be I should have been bit more clear....will try to improvise ....

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  9. ah.. what sadness.. but still the wisdom of Carpe Diem

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  10. the protagonist came alive with your story-telling and the ending couldn't have been any better. with that said, a little bit more editing would have made your story perfect.

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    1. Thank you for the advice , I did make slight changes in the write up

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  11. Your male protagonist has experienced a tragedy that defines his world, yet his tragedy does not register with the world around him. The juxtaposition of death and life was quite powerful.

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    1. Glad that you interpreted it so well ....thanks for dropping by :)

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  12. Dear Sushree,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. A lot of story in few words. You clearly showed how the world goes on, oblivious to individual tragedy

    I was confused in a few places but I sense it has to do with English not being your first language. For that alone you have my admiration.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thank you Rochelle for introducing us with Friday Fictioneers .... Writing for FF and reading the posts of other writers is a great learning experience .

      Thanks for your appreciation as well as the suggestion . I will try to improve in my future write ups .

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  13. I think the only ambiguity came from this sentence "His jubilant life got snatched away.." which led to the confusion. But the philosophical ending was expressed beautifully.

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    1. Ya may be...Thank you for pointing that out .....

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  14. Sometimes perfect strangers, epsecially those of old and wise kind, give us best advice. We get caught in a web of our own sorrow and just miss on everyday beauty and simplicity of life. Great story and welcome to FF.

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  15. Life snatched away - I wasn't sure if this was a ghost (that would be a fantastic way of starting if it was; I imagine ghosts' thirst is never sated). I found some of the wording a bit confusing but I liked the overall story.

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    1. About the confusion part ...many said the same ...may be I have gone wrong at few places . Would improvise that in my future write ups :)

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  16. Good story. Sad at the beginning, but good advice at the end. Good description of suffering. Well done.

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  17. I really liked this one-life has to go on and it does!The old man is right-he must learn to give up (the bottle) and (let go of) the grief-life is for
    living :-) Beautifully expressed-and very clear to me.

    http://brewmeacuppa.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/the-promise/

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    1. I am glad you interpreted the story completely and understood it so well . Thanks a lot for that :)

      Many said that they got confused , so I edited few parts ....may be now it's ok ...

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Do scribble down few words ...it motivates :)