Friday, 7 March 2014

We Don't ....

                             " This post is for Write Tribe ...Day 6 ...55 Fiction "

                                               


  She stormed out of the room blabbering everything  that crossed her mind

  They don’t bother about me, they don’t think about me ,they can’t even understand what I want

  You know what Mom …you  just don’t care 

  Ya…we don’t ….that’s why we picked you up from those thorny bushes decades ago... she mumbled to herself



                                                      





20 comments:

  1. NIcely put! liked the slight twist in the end!

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  2. Ooopss.. the mother reveals?? Oh no..

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  3. Beautiful.I liked the turn at the end

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  4. Aah! Did the truth shatter her??

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  5. I hope the mom didn't say it out loud. Loved the ending. Nice plot.

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  6. Was it truth or one of those things my mom would say to tease me every once in a while?

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  7. I hope the last sentence was inside the mother's mind.

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  8. Loved the twist in the end. It's so tough for a mother to hear such sharp words from her child .

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  9. Gud one, I hope the parents didn't mention it right on her face. We people say things in anger and mood swings but later we realize we indeed hurt our parents. I know how horrible it is when I hurt my parents because later I feel more hurt as I repent :(

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  10. Exactly. Sometimes, people don't love us the way we want them to.

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  11. Ohho... hope the mother did not tell her like this. Words can be very sharp

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  12. Ouch.. was that the truth slipping out?

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  13. Oh no! but she can alter her statement later...a mother has power to do anything....

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  14. Thank you every one for the valuable comments and reactions . After seeing every one's anxiety whether the mother said it aloud or not and did that break the daughter's heart...I decided to have a slight change in the last line . I guess now that would be fine . Well this was my first attempt at 55 word fiction ...so may be there did exist some flaws and eventually I will learn with time ....
    And thank you again for such an overwhelming support :)

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  15. Somehow things normally done by kids due to age are given more magnitude when done by the adopted ones right ?

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  16. Sensitive story. I like the twist in the end:)

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  17. Noo! I think anger brings that out in us* sigh*
    I felt sad after reading this

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  18. Sigh.,, it's always the same, isn't it? Guess the teenager years aren't too different for this generation. And ooh, nice twist ;)

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  19. That was an ironic little twist. If she didn't care she wouldn't have picked her in the first place! ♥

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    Replies
    1. Hey Kathy ...I guess you exactly understood what I wanted to express ....I feel relieved :):)

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Do scribble down few words ...it motivates :)

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